God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Lord, help me realize the beautiful fight is not fought in years or months or even days, but in minutes, even seconds. Let me swing the sword one stroke at a time. Let me fully and responsibly act on what is in my sphere of change and to release to You, Lord, what is not. Let those who love me do the same, so as not to take ownership of what only I can truly own. Give me the wisdom to see the difference in what is core and causative to the nature of my fight and what are outward manifestations and symptoms, spending my time and energy on core issues. Let me deal with root causes and not merely correlations. Let me take the long-look on the hope of glorification and perfection without need of fight in the next life, and let that hope affect current decisions. Let me see the fight as beautiful in that it allows me to know I am alive, You are with me, and not abandoning me as you form the image of Christ in me. Let me see it as brutal in knowing their is an enemy who seeks my demise. Let me not miss moments of joy in the midst of the battle. And mostly, let me trust in You each second. Amen.
If I trust in my own strength for the beautiful fight, I am done in already. I must learn to trust in His strength yet apportion it as my own. Christ in me the hope of glory. Yet this is one of the most difficult things to do. In all honesty, I get lost in this. “Let go, let God” doesn’t seem to work but neither does attempting to willpower my way to victory. I am thinking that this isn’t a continuum between the two, but there exists a third way which I have not truly discovered.
So all I know to do at this point is echo the prayer of Gungor. Mere theological reason, while important, is not of itself sufficient for my victory.